Friday, August 15, 2008

Don't look back and say if...

Choosing a title for your blog seems like such a big decision. You don't want it to sound dumb, you don't want it to be too cheesy. But finding the perfect one - that's a tough job. I chose "Don't look back and say if" because it's something I believe strongly. If as you're going through life you continually choose to look back and say, "But if this had happened," you will constantly question eveything and never enjoy the choices you made.

For instance, when we were preparing for Joey's back surgery that was to take place in NY, out of network for our insurance, Joey's very wealthy boss said he would take care of everything. Doctors, travel, hospital bills, food, everything. And this is a man that made enough money in a couple of days to pay for all of this. We were so relieved to be able to plan this surgery and not worry about the money - simply look forward to Joey getting better. Well, of course, surgery, out of network, in New York - not cheap. I don't know if his boss didn't realize how expensive it would actually be, or if he just decided Joey wasn't worth the money - but in the end he paid for almost nothing, not in the grand scheme of things. Let's just say Joey and I were devestated, to say the least. We struggled for a while, but finally came to the realization that there was no way we could afford to pay these bills. The only option was to declare bankruptcy and start over. While we are deciding how to proceed with our lives, we also have to accept that Joey isn't getting better. We realized he couldn't continue to work, and my tiny salary couldn't support our family. What a mess.

Joey applied for disability and we decided to follow his best friend to Charlotte, NC where I could get a better paying job. We planned to move to Charlotte over New Year's weekend between 2006 and 2007. By the way - bankruptcy sucks. We knew we wouldn't be able to buy a house for a while, and that we'd have to hold off buying new cars for a few years, but we had trouble renting a house. Are you kidding me? We had to pay the first month's rent and two deposits before they trusted us, but they did and we still happily live there. Anyway, we moved to Charlotte, I got a job the first full week we were there that doubled my previous salary, and I still happily work there. Joey has found better doctors than he could have hoped for in our tiny KY town, or anywhere close by (trust me, I know, we looked). Our daughter is in an awesome (ridiculously expensive) daycare, our son is getting ready to start kindergarten, and we are happy. We still deal with Joey not being a well person every day, and we still deal with the effects of having to declare bankruptcy, but we are a family and we are together.

My point to this blog is to say, in the beginning when all of this craziness began happening, it was so easy to say, "But if he'd paid for it, we wouldn't be in this situation." But that keeps you from appreciating where you are now. We LOVE Charlotte, I've made some truly wonderful friends, and we are happier than we ever were in KY. So now, I say thanks to the idiot who backed out on us, and look forward to the years to come with my family.


Rachel said...

You are an inspration to me and I love you for that. You too are a truely wonderful friend that I don't know what I would do without. :) R

Catherine Altmaier said...

Holy crap! My sister has a blog! And a very good one I might add. I think you're amazing for staying positive through all of the hills and valleys you've walked. Love you!