Odd Girl Out

This is my sweet baby girl.

Perhaps you heard that she just turned five.

She is having a tough time with the neighborhood kids.  Or perhaps Joey and I are having a tough time on her behalf, she doesn't always seem that troubled by it.

A family lives behind us with a boy Logan's age (7/8), and a girl who is in kindergarten (so one year older than Grace).  Since our kids were old enough to play outside these two have always come running to join them.  They've always gotten along very well and had a good time.

This spring, the playgroup has expanded.  Now it includes a girl (who happens to be in Logan's class) who has a trampoline.  Gracie, being as outgoing and friendly as she is, has no problem including this new girl in playtime.  However, I think this new girl is a big ole "B".  She's flat out mean to Gracie.  And she's managed to include the little girl from behind our house in the meanness.  All the kids will run up to jump on the trampoline, but trampoline girl tells Gracie she's not allowed to jump because she's too small.  Well, I'll just tell you, Grace is bigger than this girl times two.  So Gracie very patiently stands at the side of the trampoline and watches them jump.  Which breaks my heart.  So occasionally I'll walk out and ask why she's not allowed to jump.  And trampoline girl will say, "Fine, she can jump."  And Gracie will get on the trampoline and start bouncing around, and the others kids, led by trampoline girl, will decide they don't want to jump anymore. 

Recently, we've also added cul-de-sac girl to the group.  She is Logan and trampoline girls age, and follows right in trampoline girls footsteps.  Yesterday, Logan and Grace went out to find some kids to play with.  Ten or so minutes later Logan came back with two boys from up the street to play Wii.  I asked where Grace was and he said, "On the kids behind us back porch."  Joey and I look out the window and are befuddled that Gracie is out there, but with a grown up lady we don't know.  Logan informs us it is cul-de-sacs mom.  We watch her chat with Gracie, then cul-de-sac girl and back yard girl come out with a beach towel, chat to back yard's mom and walk off with cul-de-sacs mom.  Gracie looks a little lost for a moment and Joey is furious at cul-de-sacs mom.  He walks out on the back porch to tell Gracie to come on home. 

When she gets in the house I ask where the other girls went.  Tears coming to her eyes, she says to the pool.  I ask if cul-de-sacs mom asked her to go, too.  She said she was invited, but I have my doubts.  If she was really invited, I can't imagine Grace not wanting to go. 

Joey is furious and says he wants to talk to cul-de-sacs mom.  I explain that we can't force the other girls to be friends with Gracie.  They are all older than her and seem to feel that means they have the right to be mean to her.  If cul-de-sac girl didn't want to invite Gracie we can't force that.  I also feel like running to Grace's rescue isn't exactly the right answer either, though that's absolutely what I want to do each and every time something happens.

In the end, my stomach hurts as I write this.  Grace is a fun, outgoing, friendly girl who has no trouble playing with anyone.  And it breaks my heart for her to have to stand on the side and watch all the other girls be friends.

Go Big Blue!

Just in time for the SEC tournament, a University of Kentucky wreath.

First I bought a pack of white coffee filters and an individual pack of blue fabric dye.  I filled my kitchen sink with water, added the blue dye, and then put in 50 (out of 100) coffee filters.

Once they'd soaked for a while, I took them out and laid them in my garage on newspaper to dry.  I didn't want to lay them directly on the ground for two reasons: (1) I didn't want them to get dirty and (2) I didn't want to turn the garage floor blue.  It didn't take them long to dry, but when I picked them up I realized some of them (not all) had absorbed some of the ink from the newspaper.  Didn't see that coming.

I was now ready to start making my wreath but realized a small problem.  By soaking and drying the coffee filters, I had smoothed out the "ruffly" edges.  Since the plain white ones hadn't been soaked and dried, they were still ruffly.  So, I stopped, filled the sink with warm water, and soaked the plain white ones in plain warm water.  After these had dried, I was ready to go.

I started twisting the filters and hot gluing them onto the wreath, alternating between blue and white.  After I had covered the whole wreath, this is what I had.

Next, I printed the letters U and K in a font I liked in Word, cut them out and traced them onto some white cardboard.  Using the white cardboard letters, I traced that onto white felt.  Then I used blue thread and stitched the white felt onto the white cardboard.  This part sucked.  It's not easy to sew cardboard and my fingers hurt from pushing the needle through and then into my finger.  After much putting it down and picking it up, I finally finished the letters and hot glued them onto the wreath.  This is the final product:

We love it!!!  It is now hanging on my front door for the duration of March madness.  Go big blue!

P.S. Joey and I's alma mater, Morehead State University, won their tournament, the OVC, to get into the NCAA tournament, too.  So we'll be rooting for both of them.

Rainy Day = Crafty Day

This past Sunday was totally yucky here so we stayed inside in our pajamas all day and covered the kitchen table in crafts.  As soon as the kids see me settle in at the kitchen table and start pulling out craft boxes they grab their stuff and come running.

I had a few goals for the day.

1.  Make the Easter wreath I've been planning.
2.  Make St. Patrick's Day pins so none of us get pinched for not wearing green.
3.  Make hairbows!

The kids had the following goals:

1.  Make a mess.
2.  Have fun.

Lucky for them, I was okay with their goals.  They started out creating things using our various supplies, but when Logan saw me get out the felt, he just had to have some.  He requested maroon, yellow, and blue for the Washington Redskins and the Kentucky Wildcats.  This is what he ended up making:

See the UK sign at the bottom?  He cut the letters out of white felt and outlined them in blue.  He was excited about the game they were playing later that afternoon.

Oh, and did you notice the thing on his head?  He found some ribbon and attached the feathers for a cool head...thing.  I don't know.  But you know that as soon as she saw it Grace had to have one, too.

This is them mid creation.  They were funny.

My first task was to make some St. Patrick's Day pins.  I had seen the idea out in blogland so I created my own version.  I Googled 'Shamrock template' and found one that would work.  Then I traced three different sizes onto some green felt.  (The one that inspired me used three different shades of green, but I only had two, so I just used one to keep it looking uniform.)  I then glued the three felt shamrocks together and added a jewel/bead thing (actually left over from my sorority days in college) to the middle.  Then I glued a pin on the back.  Here's the finished product:

I am really pleased with how they turn out and the kids are excited to wear them, so it's a win.

Next, I worked on my Easter wreath, but it's still in progress, so I'll blog about that later.

I then made a few hairbows and pins for Grace and I.  This is an obsession that began around Christmas and I'm trying to remember to take some pictures of all I've made so I can write a blog about that, too.

I then made everyone take a break from what they were doing (because by now they'd wandered off) and we did something fun!  Clean the living room!  It was a big hit.  While cleaning, I came across a Hello Kitty ring Grace had gotten at some birthday party and decided that I might be able to make a Hello Kitty hairbow for her.  You see, she has become obsessed with Hello Kitty.  I bought her a Hello Kitty coloring book and she'll sit for hours coloring in it.  But no jumping around the book.  She started at page one and is going page by page coloring them all. 

Anyway, after the cleaning excitement died down I went back to kitchen table and got to it.  Now, I'll just warn you that since I've kicked off this whole "crafty" thing I've basically made things by stealing other peoples ideas.  This was made using my own ideas.  And here it is:

Again, I am really pleased with how it turned out.  And I think it's really weird she doesn't have a mouth.  Oh, and I posted it on Facebook to see if anyone could tell what it was and my sister immediately got it right.  So, I glued a hair clip on the back and gave it Grace.  Now I just have to wait for a day she "feels like" wearing it.  Oh yes, Miss Opinionated.

Anyway, that was my Sunday.  What started out as rainy, windy, and gross turned very productive.

Extra Kids

Or as Logan called it, a sleepover.

That's right.  For the first time in his 7.5 years, Logan had a sleepover.  Not one, but two boys stayed at our house this past Saturday night.  They are all in Cub Scouts together, but each at different levels.  Their mom is the Treasurer and she came over Saturday afternoon so I could help her get some spreadsheets straightened out.  Then we took all four kids to the park by our house. 

Then, after listening to the kids whine a bit, we realized we hadn't eaten since the Cub Scout pancake breakfast that morning.  So we headed over to Chick Fil A for some yummy chicken and ice cream cones and time for the kids to play in the kiddie area.

While there, Logan and his friends started begging to let them stay the night at our house.  I didn't take much convincing.  Their mom was very adamant about not letting them if it was a bad night, but goodness knows we didn't have anything going on.  Plus, she was planning on coming back Sunday afternoon anyway for some more Treasurer help.

All the boys did really well.  The youngest, a first grader, went back and forth playing with Grace or Logan, while the oldest, a fourth grader, stuck more to himself and played video games.  Logan switched back and forth between both boys.  Grace was enamored since Ethan (the youngest) even played Barbies with her (he later claimed she made him).  Logan had some trouble remembering to share the Wii.  He likes playing it, so anytime he got a turn it became him playing, and no taking turns.  But with anything else they played, they all did great, even managing to include Gracie quite a bit.

I think by the time their mom got back the next day they were all pretty worn out.  Ethan fell asleep waiting for her to finish the Treasurer stuff, Tyler (the older boy) had a bit of a meltdown after learning we weren't going back to the park that day, and Grace fell asleep at 6:00 pm in the recliner.

It was a fun time, I just wish I'd taken a few more pictures to document the event.  Below is the only one I have, of the kids shortly after they woke up.

Mood Swings, cont.

The funny thing about Grace and all her carrying on is that when it happened I immediately began wondering where she could have learned this kind of behavior.  Was it a kid at school?  Was it Logan?  Was it a cousin?  It never crossed my mind (at the time) that this was just Grace being Grace.  Grace is a little girl who doesn't like not getting her way and still expresses her anger by crying, yelling, and screaming.  This wasn't behavior she learned from someone else.  This is Grace, take it or leave it.

Do all moms do this?  Do we just inherently believe that our children are angels who only learn bad things from someone else?  Sometimes it's obvious that the action was picked up from someone else.  For example, Logan and I were watching the end of the Daytona 500 on Sunday.  Dale Jr. (our favorite) was  running very well and our hopes were high.  Then, crash, he's done.  Logan, in a moment of disappoinment, yelled "Dammit!"  And then sheepishly looked at me.  I didn't freak out, just calmly told him he knows that he is not supposed to say those kinds of words.  But I know where he learned it.  Daddy.  Alright, maybe me too. 

The point is, sometimes I have to remember who my children really are and not immediately begin pointing fingers at innocent bystanders.  And sometimes they remind me.

Grace has a quick fuse when she is told no, but get her giggling and all is forgotten.  When she misbehaves, a sharp word hurts her feelings enough to get her to straighten up (most of the time).  When she smiles it lights up the room.  Her laugh makes it clear she's happy - no hesitation.  She likes to wear skirts and play in the dirt with her brother.  She doesn't care that it's February - she wants to wear flip flops.  She is opinionated and headstrong and expects to get her way.

Logan, however, doesn't seem to care that you're telling him no until you're yelling at him and threatening to take away Wii.  Then he cries because you're yelling at him, not because he's in trouble.  He smiles in a sneaky way, like maybe he's up to something, or maybe he just loves you.  He hugs fiercely, sometimes pushing me back with the force of it.  He doesn't like wearing his jacket, even as snowflakes land on his shoulders.  He is a go with the flow, get along with everyone kind of kid.

I guess what I mean to say with all of this is, I love these kids.  Even when they've woken me up at 1:00 in the morning and I'm fighting to get them back to bed, I love them.  Even whey they yell "I hate you!" in anger, I love them.  I suppose this is all part of being a mom.

Mood Swings

As I previously mentioned, I made a deal with the kids to stay in their own beds all week long and then they would get a surprise.  Suprisingly, Grace did awesome with this, while Logan quickly lost his surprise.  If he came down and I tried to take him back up, he'd actually fight with me.  Grace, however, just needed a little reminder of the surprise and she went back upstairs peacefully.

Saturday night we had a little sleepover at our house (I'll post on that later).  The kids were exhausted following the late night and constant playing.  Gracie gave up and fell asleep in the recliner at 6:00 Sunday evening.  I finally woke her up enough to take her upstairs to her, change her clothes, and tuck her in to her bed.  Logan went right to sleep at his normal 9:00 bedtime.

Grace came down to my room about 1:00 in the morning and did not like that I wouldn't let her stay there.  She yelled and screamed (actually screamed), cried, flopped on the floor, and carried on like a crazy person.  I finally got her upstairs where she kept yelling at me that I'm always mean to her, I'm never nice to her, and tomorrow when I tell her to go to school, she's not going.  I left her crying in her bed and stood in the hallway waiting for her to calm down.

Finally, as she was winding down, I went back in, kissed her goodnight, and told her I love you.

When she woke up this morning around 6:00 she came to my bedroom, woke me up, and said, "I'm sorry I was so mean to you last night."  No prompting, just the first words out of her mouth.  All was immediately forgiven.  She even said it again when we actually got out the bed.  Bless her little heart.

She took a shower with mommy this morning since she didn't get a bath last night.  She played for a bit, got out, and got dressed without drama.  Then it was time to put shoes on. 

Dun, dun, duuuun.

She started with her purple Converse.  She tried to put the right shoe on her left foot which of course didn't work so she threw the shoe across the bathroom in frustration.  Fine.  I told her to go find a different pair of shoes if she didn't want those.  She came back in with flip flops.  Flip flops.

I started to explain to her that she isn't allowed to wear flip flops to school, but she interrupted me to explain why these were the only shoes she wanted to wear.  After her not very good reasoning, I again told her she wasn't allowed to wear flip flops to school.  She could wear them when she got home, but not to school.

Well, she wasn't having this.  She spent the rest of the morning crying and fussing about only wanting to wear flip flops and no other shoe would do (about 15 minutes).  Finally, Logan and I are ready to walk out the door and she's still sitting on the floor crying.  I grabbed a pair of shoes, shoved them on her feet, and out we went. 

That induced another round of tears and fighting and "I'm always mean to her".

Finally, finally, we made it to school.  She walked in with her apple danish, sat down in her seat, kissed me and said I love you, and out I went.

I think we're both going to need to be medicated soon.

Musical Beds

This weekend the kids and I played a fun game called Musical Beds.  What?  You've never heard of this game?  Let me tell you how it goes:

1. We all started the night by falling asleep in our own beds.
2. Around 1:00 am Grace joined Joey and I in our bed.
3. Around 2:30 am Logan also decided to join us in our bed.
4. Since there is not room for us all to sleep comfortably in one bed, Logan and I went upstairs to sleep in the guest bed instead.
5. Around 3:45 am Grace came to the guest bed looking to sleep with me.
6. Since there is not room for the three of us to sleep comfortably in the guest bed, Grace and I went to sleep in her bed instead.
7. Being incredibly uncomfortable, I moved back to my own bed pretty quickly.
8. Logan came down to sleep in my bed again.
9. Grace then also came back down so she and I went back upstairs to the guest bed.
10. We quickly realized that Logan had abandoned the guest bed since it was now "wet."
11. Grace and I moved back to her bed.
12. After sleeping for a bit, Grace was up and at 'em shortly before six, soon joined by Logan.  The two of them played quietly.
13. I moved back to my bed and slept somewhat peacefully until approximately 9:00 am when the kids decided I'd slept long enough.  So began my day.

This is a thrilling game with never ending possibilities.  For example, last night (in a shortened version):

1. We all started the night by falling asleep in our own beds.
2. Grace came down to join Joey and I in our bed.
3. I took Grace back upstairs and put her in the guest bed going back to my own bed by myself.
4. Logan came down to join Joey and I in our bed.
5. After fighting a bit, I got him back up the stairs and into his own bed.
6. We all slept peacefully until normal wake up time.

Disclaimer #1: Last night was only shortened due to my promise before they went to sleep last night that if they stayed in their own beds all week they would each get a surprise at the end of the week.  This made it less tricky to get Grace back upstairs, but didn't help with Logan, who still put up a pretty good fight.

Disclaimer #2: This does not happen every night, just most nights.  Sometimes we all sleep the whole night through, or Logan, at least, stays in his bed all night.  Lately, Grace rarely stays in her own bed all night.  We're working on it.   The key is to ALWAYS take them straight back to their beds when they come down.  However, this momma does not always wake up enough to care or to get out of bed.  Like I said, it's a work in progress.

For a complete set of rules please e-mail mrowe@Ican'ttakeitanymore.com.